Break-ups are a bitch. (For lack of a better word.) Nobody wants to go through it, nobody wants to face it, nobody wants it period. It is difficult, especially when you feel like you have shared a life with that particular person --- life meaning: families of each side are involved, assets, the commitment, and countless memories --- there is no easy way of throwing it all away.
But there are ways to help you, us, move on quite easier than locking ourselves in a room, with tubs of ice cream and racks of ribs. That's just not going to work.
It is OKAY to cry. So cry!
Yes, grieving is perfectly normal. Heck, even I alienated myself for a good couple of days from the world. Time alone is absolutely necessary. Reflect, remember the good things, your rejuvenated freedom, and all the possibilities. Of course you will miss him, everyday, for a very long time. But this break or break-up happened for a reason, that's the truth we all have to face at some point. It is OK to cry. Cry it all out, damn it! Cry it to the point where you can't feel you can cry anymore. That time will come, I promise.
Assert your strengths and list down things you want to accomplish alone.
I decided I needed time for myself to go back to school and learn the fundamentals of being a successful business woman, and also to seek opportunities to start my entrepreneurship. It wasn't an easy decision but being single could be an advantage. Less stress, more focus, and more time to spend thinking about and accomplishing goals --- these all seem to be positives, not reasons to frown about. So venture out! Do things you have always wanted to do that were put in the back burner, may it be pursuing a career or traveling the world. DO YOU.
Maybe you are also due for a makeover.
The last two times I went through a rough breakup, I drastically cut my hair into a bob --- of which both times, I regretted for a long time. I adore my medium length hair and I guess, it's time to change something else. I enrolled in a gym and have been moderately using it. Walking the treadmill while watching an episode of Grey's Anatomy on Netflix is a great start. But you may need a haircut! Why not? Get some new layers, a new hair color, or brush up on your make-up skills, get some gel nails, or shop a whole new wardrobe. We have to admit the harsh truth, we do let a piece of ourselves go when we get into a serious relationship. (I gained 40 lbs, yikes!) So get rid of the daily sweatpants routine and get that glamour you once had.
Create a new hobby.
Spring is around a corner too, girl! Go for a hike, buy a bike, fly a kite! (Yes, I purposefully tried to rap.) There are tons of things you can get into. Not to mention, a new TV show addiction on Netflix, why not! Anything to keep you busy and away from the thoughts of loneliness. Because you are not lonely. You are strong and determined to move on. So do it! I recently got into DIY (thanks Pinterest) and have been redecorating my room. Cooking, shopping or both! Find a hobby that will enhance your skills set, personality, and knowledge. It will be time well spent.
Love yourself...more than you would love anything/anyone.
It is true when the old folks say, the only way to fully invest your love into someone is by doing the same with yourself first. I've had self-esteem issues since I was a teenager which oftentimes resulted in depression and negativity. Not cool! I started going out in college and found happiness around my friends. I reckoned that spending quality time with family and friends made me a chipper person in general. Surround yourself with people who love you for you, that way, you will learn to love yourself more and more each day. Go out with the girls! Put a pretty dress on and sashay into a nightclub. Boost your self esteem by talking to strangers and making new friends. You are single, you are free to do whatever you feel. But remember to always love yourself and stay classy.
Moving on isn't easy, but it does become easier looking at it optimistically. So give yourself a day or two to dwell on the past, pour it all out, and eat one (just ONE) Ben & Jerry's pint. After that, you need to snap out of it, put your Beyonce on, and move on with life. Because it is beautiful and so are you. Don't let it go to waste. After all, it's a just a boy. ;)
[Photo credits: Huffington Post, Little Leopard Book]
Labels: Lifestyle
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